Playing It The Company Way

Sad Images: I'm still trying to figure out which is sadder: Hugh Downs doing an infomercial or me eating mash potatoes with my fingers in the darkness of a parked car. You Decide!

Service with a Smile: I went to McDonald's for lunch (Ketchup Packets: Nine) and, after handing me my food, the girl at the drive-up said "Thank you, sir, and remember we serve our smiles for free!". Make of that what you will.

It's Personal: I just recently had to watch a sexual harassment video at work which I have seen so many damn times I could recite it verbatim. As part of our annual safety training, every employee of Touchy Feely Fotos has to endure a half hour of tedium and condescension hosted by two of the most hated people in the world, Dave and Nolan. These two former PM Magazine hosts inform us about sexual harassment and discrimination in the workplace by being as smug and annoying as possible. Dave is a balding guy in a sweater and Nolan is a middle aged stick with a pageboy. Every time I think of these two I want to track them down and ruin their thriving community acting career in the Quad Cities. That said, they are the perfect spokespeople for our hollow, little company. Here's hoping their next acting gig is in a snuff film.

Company Man: So the newest president of Touchy Feely is coming to town and he's speaking to all of us minions at various times. His meeting with the second shift is at 2:30pm which is an hour before I drag myself in. However, if I attend, it will count as overtime so I'm ever so-slightly torn. I have no real need to hear this guy speak, but I can always use the overtime so what is a member of the working poor supposed to do? Tune in tomorrow for my big decision!